Common pains in relationships.

Posted: September 26, 2015 in Ugandan things

Common pains in relationships.
There are disgusting things that happen to people in relationships. Every relationship is different but most of the challenges are similar.
It is disturbing to find someone who can touch their keyboard for long but cannot touch their loved ones. No wonder a smart gadget has become the third person in a love relationship. Have you ever met people who cannot even hold hands of their partners? It is as if they will be electrocuted if they get close.
Less affection in a relationship hurts. Elizabeth Gilbert once said I think its wonderful when a love story begins with a great deal of romance and affection, passion and excitement, thats how it should be. But dont necessarily know that its the wisest thing in the world to expect that it ends there, or that it should, 30 years down the road, still look as it did on the night of your first kiss. Public display of affection is just irresistible if you are truly in love. There are  Instagram pictures of  Zari and Diamond platnumz that went viral. Diamond appears to be resting his head on the tummy of his pregnant wife Zari. Some Ugandans have already approved it as a sign of true love.
Love brings love. It feels great to love someone who loves you back in the same currency. If someone is putting up a show for you, they tend to feel surprisingly uncomfortable next to you in public. This hurts to the bone. They are some people who act as though they are single yet they are in a relationship. This obviously hurts especially if the other person is giving their all. What does it take to set your loved ones’ photo as your wallpaper? Busy bee partners worsen the situation. Failure to spend more time off with loved ones can be a source of stress in a relationship.
Conflicting character traits will bring up respect issues. The other person may feel they are not respected. Some people take decisions without consulting their partners. It is so hurting to just find a new car in the compound. Lack of openness is a symptom of poor communication and selfishness. Even tempered people can cause pain in a relationship. This may lead to domestic violence. Instead of talking about it, they wait for you to sleep and burn you. Torture and body injury by a loved one can lead to a lifetime of pain.
Family background may be a source of pain. There are those who are brought up like kings. When they get married, they expect the other person to fall in position. This may be conflicting. For instance there are people do not help with house chores because they grew up with servants at home.
In-laws can sometimes become a pain in a relationship if not properly handled. Have you ever dated someone and everything in a relationship was done in consultation with their family? Helping in-laws sometimes goes beyond acceptable limits. There are people who prioritize relatives more than their loved ones. You cannot just cancel a date because your family member has invited you. Why would anyone want to turn their home into a charity home without consulting your partner? Sometimes the relatives can still receive help wherever they are. They do not have to come and stay.
Unfaithfulness is another pain in a relationship. Trust is Fuel to run any relationship. Cheating is unacceptable habit in this era of dangerous sexually transmitted diseases. Having multiple partners and yet committed to someone is the worst form of betrayal. Sharing may be biblical but not everything should be .Sex is worship .You do not go around worshipping anything. Your partner buys you a cloth and you just let others undress you. Love from a cheating partner is recycling.
Control freak .Loving a perfectionist is bad news. They always want things to be done their way by force. They are never considerate and it is only their opinion that matters. They treat their partners as though they were rearing them like chicken. Some people want to monitor and control their partners movement, dress code, communication, and thoughts. Media is full with stories of some men who cannot allow their wives to plait hair. They think their wives will be liked by others. Some people focus on weaknesses and attack their loved one’s character. It is hurting to receive criticism from someone close. We all have weaknesses and as such we must be supportive to loved ones.
Bareness .Children are fruits of a marriage. Absence of biological children is trying. Such a couple takes on a lot of pressure from relatives. Sometimes its not barrenness but some cultures prefer boys. If the couple has only girls, it may be another pain.
Finances in a relationship can be a source of pain. Absence and abundance of finances can still cause misunderstandings in love relationships. Pain may come in if one partner is not working at all.When someone is just wasteful with money, this may cause fights. Some people cannot manage their finances for the benefit of all in a relationship. A person who is selfish with their money is a pain. There are working class women who will never spend in a home because a man works. They even keep their workplace secretive.

Ivan N Baliboola
PR and Organisational diagnosis specialist


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